Ejemplos de writing C1 Advanced corregidos, criterio a criterio

Your class has attended a panel discussion on what local councils should spend money on to improve life in cities. You have made the notes below.

Areas to spend money on: public transport, green spaces, affordable housing

Some opinions expressed in the discussion: "Nobody will leave their car at home if the buses are always late." "Parks are nice, but they are not a priority." "Young people can't afford to live in the city where they work."

Write an essay discussing two of the areas in your notes. You should explain which area should be given priority, giving reasons to support your opinion. You may, if you wish, make use of the opinions expressed in the discussion, but you should use your own words as far as possible.

Write your essay in 220-260 words.

Lo que pide de verdad: elegir dos de las tres áreas, desarrollar las dos y decidir cuál va primero, con razones. Si solo describes las dos y cierras con «both are important», te dejas la mitad de la tarea.

239 palabras.

Nowadays, the cities are growing very fast and the local councils have to decide in what they spend the money. In this essay I will discuss two areas, public transport and affordable housing, and I will explain which one is more important in my opinion.

Firstly, public transport is a very important topic. In many cities the buses are always late and they are very crowded, so people prefer to go with their own car. This causes more traffic and more pollution, which is bad for the health. If the council invest more money in buses and metro, more people will use them and the city will be cleaner. However, this is very expensive and the results are not immediate.

Secondly, affordable housing is another problem that affects specially to young people. In my city, Madrid, the rents have increased a lot in the last years and a young person who earns 1.200 euros per month can't pay a flat alone. As a result, many of them have to live with their parents until they are thirty or they have to live very far from their job. This is a big problem because they can't have an independent life.

In conclusion, both areas are important, but I think that the council should give priority to affordable housing. Without a house, people can't have a normal life, and the transport is less important if you live near to your work.

Content (5). Dos áreas, cada una con su párrafo, y una prioridad clara al final. Cumple la tarea. Ojo: no hablar de green spaces no resta nada, la tarea pide dos.

Communicative Achievement (3). Tiene forma de essay y el registro es correcto. Pero las ideas se quedan en lo general («a very important topic», «a big problem») y la introducción anuncia lo que va a hacer («In this essay I will discuss…») en vez de plantear el problema. En el C1 se espera que el texto convenza, no que informe.

Organisation (3). Firstly, Secondly, In conclusion. Se sigue sin esfuerzo y ahí se acaba el mérito: no hay contraste entre los dos párrafos ni referencias de uno a otro. La comparación, que es el corazón de la tarea, aparece solo en la última frase.

Language (2-3). Aquí es donde el corrector dudó entre dos bandas. Hay estructuras de nivel (un condicional, una relativa con which, «As a result»), pero el vocabulario es de B2 y se repite (very, more, important) y hay errores típicos:

1. decide in what they spend the money → decide what to spend their money on. La preposición va al final en inglés.
2. If the council invest → If the council invests.
3. affects specially to young people → especially affects young people. Sin «to»: affect es transitivo.
4. in the last years → in recent years.
5. near to your work → near your work.

De propina: 1.200 euros se escribe 1,200 en inglés. Y «go with their own car» es drive.

Para subir una banda: arreglar esos cinco errores no basta. Lo probé: con los cinco corregidos, Language se quedó fijo en 3 y el total en 14. El salto a 16-17 viene de Communicative Achievement y Organisation: comparar las dos áreas dentro del cuerpo del texto («Housing, by contrast…») y cambiar «very important» y «big problem» por lo que realmente pasa (retrasa la independencia, vacía el centro).

247 palabras. Misma tarea, mismas dos áreas, misma conclusión.

Every city council faces the same dilemma: budgets are finite, while the list of urgent needs seems endless. Of the areas raised in the discussion, two stand out as having the greatest impact on residents' daily lives: public transport and affordable housing.

Investment in public transport pays dividends that reach far beyond commuters. A reliable, frequent service persuades drivers to leave their cars at home, which in turn eases congestion and cuts emissions. The catch, as one speaker pointed out, is that reliability is everything; a bus network that is cheap but unpredictable will simply be ignored. Transport projects are also notoriously slow and costly, meaning that a council may pay the bill long before voters see any benefit.

Housing, by contrast, addresses a problem that is quietly emptying city centres. When rents swallow half of a young worker's salary, people either move to distant suburbs or postpone leaving the family home altogether. Neither outcome is healthy for a city, which relies on those same young people to staff its hospitals, schools and cafés. Crucially, measures such as converting empty buildings into rent-controlled flats can be implemented within a single term of office.

Weighing the two, I would argue that affordable housing deserves priority. Better buses are of little use to someone who has already been priced out of the city, whereas people who can live close to where they work need to travel less in the first place. Transport should follow, not precede, a housing strategy.

Content (5). Las dos áreas desarrolladas y una prioridad defendida con dos razones distintas: el coste y el plazo, y que sin vivienda el transporte no sirve.

Communicative Achievement (5). Esto es lo que el C1 pide y el B2 no: el texto argumenta. Usa una de las opiniones del enunciado con sus propias palabras («as one speaker pointed out»), reconoce la debilidad de su propia postura y termina con una frase que se recuerda («Transport should follow, not precede, a housing strategy»).

Organisation (5). Cada párrafo mira al anterior: «by contrast», «Neither outcome», «Weighing the two». La comparación está repartida por todo el texto, no guardada para el final.

Language (5). Colocaciones de C1 sin forzar: pays dividends, priced out of the city, within a single term of office, quietly emptying. Estructuras variadas: either… or, neither, participio («meaning that»), un punto y coma bien usado.

Qué le falta: nada que suba nota. El corrector sugirió, como opcional, una línea explicando por qué deja fuera green spaces. Compara este texto con el anterior: la opinión final es la misma. Lo que cambia es que aquí se defiende.

La tarea:

The director of the language school where you study wants to improve the social programme for students. You have been asked to write a report for the director. Your report should evaluate the activities currently on offer, explain which activities have been least popular and why, and recommend changes that would encourage more students to take part.

Write your report in 220-260 words.

La respuesta, 244 palabras:

Introduction

This report evaluates the school's social programme, explains why some activities attract few students and suggests changes. The information comes from a short survey answered by 45 students last month.

Current activities

Actually the school offers three activities: a film club on Tuesdays, a conversation café on Thursdays and weekend excursions once a month. The excursions are the most successful activity and they are very popular. Almost every student surveyed had joined at least one, and most described the trips as the best way to practise English outside class.

Least popular activities

The film club, on the other hand, has had very poor assistance, rarely more than five people. According to the survey, the main reason is the timetable: the sessions begin at 7 pm, when most students are still at work. Moreover, the films are chosen by teachers and many students think that they are too much old. The conversation café is quite popular, although several students complained that it is too crowded and that the same people speak all the time.

Recommendations

Firstly, I would suggest moving the film club to Friday afternoon and letting students vote for the film each month. Secondly, the conversation café could be divided in small groups with a topic for each table, so shy students would feel more comfortable. Finally, since the excursions are so appreciated, it would be recommendable to organise them twice a month.

If these changes are implemented, participation should increase considerably.

Content (5). Las tres cosas que pide el director: evalúa lo que hay, explica qué falla y por qué, y recomienda cambios. Con datos (45 alumnos, «rarely more than five people») que un report agradece.

Communicative Achievement (4). Formato de report impecable: títulos, propósito al principio, recomendaciones al final, tono impersonal. Lo que baja la nota son dos palabras que en un documento para el director suenan raras: «Actually» y «assistance».

Organisation (4). Cada sección hace una sola cosa. Pierde un punto porque dentro de las secciones tira de Firstly, Secondly, Finally, Moreover en lugar de enlazar con referencias («this activity», «these sessions»).

Language (4). Buen rango para un report (attract few students, letting students vote, If these changes are implemented). Los errores son casi todos falsos amigos del español, y por eso merecen lista propia:

1. Actually → Currently. Actually es «en realidad», no «actualmente».
2. very poor assistance → very poor attendance. Asistencia a un evento es attendance.
3. too much old → too old, o mejor dated.
4. divided in small groups → divided into small groups.
5. it would be recommendable → it would be advisable. Recommendable existe, pero no en esta construcción.

Para subir una banda: corregí solo esos cinco y lo volví a pasar. Resultado: 19/20 en las dos pasadas, con Communicative Achievement y Organisation en 5. Cinco palabras, dos puntos. Es el caso más claro de por qué merece la pena repasar tus falsos amigos antes del examen.

• Content es el criterio fácil. Los tres sacan 5. Si respondes a todo lo que pide el enunciado, está hecho. El C1 se decide en los otros tres.
• Escribir sin errores no te hace C1. El essay 1 corregido sigue en 14. Para pasar de 3 a 5 en Communicative Achievement hay que argumentar: tomar postura, reconocer la otra cara y volver a tu idea.
• Los falsos amigos cuestan más de lo que parece. En el report, cinco palabras mal elegidas valían dos puntos.
• La comparación va dentro del texto. En el essay del C1 la palabra que manda en el enunciado es «priority». Un texto que compara en cada párrafo gana Organisation sin añadir ni un conector.

Para el reparto de 220-260 palabras entre párrafos, mira cuántas palabras lleva el writing. Para la estructura del essay, el proposal y el report, la guía de Writing del C1 Advanced.

Escribe el essay de arriba, 235-250 palabras, en 45 minutos. Pégalo con el enunciado en el corrector del essay del C1 Advanced y recibirás las cuatro bandas y tu error principal explicado; todos los errores y qué cambiar, como en estos ejemplos, van con Premium. El report tiene su propio corrector del report.

Hay una corrección gratis al día sin cuenta y, con cuenta gratis, 3 ejercicios al día de la skill que quieras, y hasta 2 pueden ser writings. El examinador es una IA calibrada contra 39 scripts oficiales de Cambridge, con un error medio de alrededor de un punto sobre 20: te dice bien en qué banda estás, no la nota exacta al punto.